Oh yes!
A party too far away!
I'm working on so many projects its delicious!
YAY ME
mercredi 17 mars 2010
samedi 30 janvier 2010
mardi 12 janvier 2010
True Love for my Alter Ego 9/22/08
hellozz bitch0skanky tee skank :)
How are you doing? oh my fucking god, you NEVER talk to me Noir-a
I havent spelt your name like that in a long time.
So I've been designing clothes from reconstructed garments and im doing my first fashion show in November!
will post a note about it on facebook asap
How are you doing? oh my fucking god, you NEVER talk to me Noir-a
I havent spelt your name like that in a long time.
So I've been designing clothes from reconstructed garments and im doing my first fashion show in November!
will post a note about it on facebook asap
Email to Ma Tante 1/15/08
My car is shiny and pretty and red of course I passed the test on the first try.
It's a Brand New 2008 Toyota Yaris, the best fuel efficient car.
I haven't been to California since I left about a year ago. I was in Pittsburgh, went to visit mom in fl, went to Boston and then left and came back to fl.
I've been here in Florida since 11-28. apparently a few of my friends are supposed to come visit me soon which will be a lot of fun. I'm constantly flooded with friends asking me to visit ______ (fill in blank of pretty much any city) and see them. Too bad I can't clone myself :) cause I can't be everywhere at once, if only that were possible I would get so much more living done in such a short time. I guess its a good thing you can't do everything at once.
My phone number is still the same
I work at B & N Full time but I am interviewing for a Library Assistant Position on Thursday for Valencia. I'm taking classes from Valencia online and I'm paying Florida resident rates so its cheap. It would be great to get this position because it pays more and then I would get reduced tuition for classes as well, besides its closer to what I want to do. I have enough experience, I've now worked in 2 bookstores (one independent and one chain) and 2 different libraries. Eventually I will get an Master of Library Science and be able to just be a regular librarian, yes you have to go to grad school to be a librarian. I want to keep my job at B&N because I got a nice discount on my textbooks.
Did Jonathan go to Hawaii yet? wow they are all getting so big. Soon enough they will be out of the house, makes me feel old hah. Its going to be weird when they get jobs and become mini-adults. People still think I look 18 until they speak to me and then they think I'm like 25+. You know I barely answer my cell phone anymore, I respond more quickly to text messages, but its nice to be around my good friends here. Although I will have to admit I don't really go out all too much, cause its pretty boring here but I didn't come back to have fun, I came back to finish what I started with school etc. I've had a lot of fun doing all the other things I did and pretty much everything that I wanted. I have no doubt that I can leave again if need be. I seem to naturally be really good at leaving a place.
Grosse Bisous,
Miss Truddie :)
It's a Brand New 2008 Toyota Yaris, the best fuel efficient car.
I haven't been to California since I left about a year ago. I was in Pittsburgh, went to visit mom in fl, went to Boston and then left and came back to fl.
I've been here in Florida since 11-28. apparently a few of my friends are supposed to come visit me soon which will be a lot of fun. I'm constantly flooded with friends asking me to visit ______ (fill in blank of pretty much any city) and see them. Too bad I can't clone myself :) cause I can't be everywhere at once, if only that were possible I would get so much more living done in such a short time. I guess its a good thing you can't do everything at once.
My phone number is still the same
I work at B & N Full time but I am interviewing for a Library Assistant Position on Thursday for Valencia. I'm taking classes from Valencia online and I'm paying Florida resident rates so its cheap. It would be great to get this position because it pays more and then I would get reduced tuition for classes as well, besides its closer to what I want to do. I have enough experience, I've now worked in 2 bookstores (one independent and one chain) and 2 different libraries. Eventually I will get an Master of Library Science and be able to just be a regular librarian, yes you have to go to grad school to be a librarian. I want to keep my job at B&N because I got a nice discount on my textbooks.
Did Jonathan go to Hawaii yet? wow they are all getting so big. Soon enough they will be out of the house, makes me feel old hah. Its going to be weird when they get jobs and become mini-adults. People still think I look 18 until they speak to me and then they think I'm like 25+. You know I barely answer my cell phone anymore, I respond more quickly to text messages, but its nice to be around my good friends here. Although I will have to admit I don't really go out all too much, cause its pretty boring here but I didn't come back to have fun, I came back to finish what I started with school etc. I've had a lot of fun doing all the other things I did and pretty much everything that I wanted. I have no doubt that I can leave again if need be. I seem to naturally be really good at leaving a place.
Grosse Bisous,
Miss Truddie :)
NYC connection 6/3/2007
It has been forever, what are the projects you are into now?
Since leaving Florida 3 years ago, I've lived in Boston (2 years), Los Angeles (3 months) Toronto (2 months) and moved to Chicago in December (6 months and counting).
After leaving LA I flew back to Boston and got together with my significant other and we drove around and decided to live in Toronto. I had my 21st bday there. We got bored moved to Chicago and we have been together since then, still living in the same room; even though last month we broke up. I'm moving out this weekend.into my new place :)
Jobs: Secretary in LA, nothing in TO and Pro-Domme in Chicago and now I work in a bookstore here.
I went to school in Boston for Criminal Justice and I plan on going back to school soon but for art.
I have a blogspot you can check out; I do need to update it though. but I usually keep it updated weekly.
http://disconnection101.blogspot.com/
Huggles
Truddie
Since leaving Florida 3 years ago, I've lived in Boston (2 years), Los Angeles (3 months) Toronto (2 months) and moved to Chicago in December (6 months and counting).
After leaving LA I flew back to Boston and got together with my significant other and we drove around and decided to live in Toronto. I had my 21st bday there. We got bored moved to Chicago and we have been together since then, still living in the same room; even though last month we broke up. I'm moving out this weekend.into my new place :)
Jobs: Secretary in LA, nothing in TO and Pro-Domme in Chicago and now I work in a bookstore here.
I went to school in Boston for Criminal Justice and I plan on going back to school soon but for art.
I have a blogspot you can check out; I do need to update it though. but I usually keep it updated weekly.
http://disconnection101.blogspot.com/
Huggles
Truddie
A letter home 2/24/07
An email to Jack
I quit my job but in other news, I started another blog. Also read this article its great. I'm glad someone wrote this.
http://www.blueblood.net/2007/02/amy-lee-vapor-evanescence-hoax/
So its getting warmer here and its not so bad.
I'm glad I stole a bunch of shit before I left. I should have taken another pair of shoes, I took a strap-on, on accident but I guess I'll keep it as a souvenir, but also I have dungeon furniture because they are cleaning it out anyway. One of the mistresses who had been there since the beginning was fired a week ago and that made me think, I just decided I hated doing this and it was time for a new career, believe it or not it got boring.
So I'm trying to find other ways to entertain myself, I miss being in Boston and the fun I used to have and at some point I need to go back to school. Oh his parents are visiting yet again next weekend, his mom thinks I hate her or something. Its not that, but she asked about my life and I told her because she asked and I'm fine with it, and so disconnected, I am not a product of my adolescence. But being she is a neurotic Jewish mother, she thinks I never dealt with my problems or something. I tried to explain to her that I am able to admit my upbringing wasn't fucking roses and not be completely fucked up as a person.
Basically I felt this job was the equivalent to a psychic vampire because it sucks energy out of me and I had nothing to replace it, it didn't make me feel satisfied as a person and it didn't even make me enough money for it to be worth it. Also it took away from the other creative endeavors I want to explore because it took all my time up. This job gave me a false sense of closeness with my coworkers who most of them would never talk to you outside of work, except maybe two and I hope I run into them cause they are genuine people. The one I want to see is the one who asked me how I was when she saw me and said she hoped I felt better. She wasn't acting that it was real.
I"m also reading through your blogs, looking for tidbits of memories of myself as well as just reading them.
I'm on the bedtime story, I think I need to make my own movie; seeing as I don't care about making money, even with the job I had. It made me see how far people would do for money and it was just sad and I could never be like that. I wonder if I'm a prude or something but I realize no, I just have self-respect ten-fold.
I think I'm going to start a scrapbooking business.
I quit my job but in other news, I started another blog. Also read this article its great. I'm glad someone wrote this.
http://www.blueblood.net/2007/02/amy-lee-vapor-evanescence-hoax/
So its getting warmer here and its not so bad.
I'm glad I stole a bunch of shit before I left. I should have taken another pair of shoes, I took a strap-on, on accident but I guess I'll keep it as a souvenir, but also I have dungeon furniture because they are cleaning it out anyway. One of the mistresses who had been there since the beginning was fired a week ago and that made me think, I just decided I hated doing this and it was time for a new career, believe it or not it got boring.
So I'm trying to find other ways to entertain myself, I miss being in Boston and the fun I used to have and at some point I need to go back to school. Oh his parents are visiting yet again next weekend, his mom thinks I hate her or something. Its not that, but she asked about my life and I told her because she asked and I'm fine with it, and so disconnected, I am not a product of my adolescence. But being she is a neurotic Jewish mother, she thinks I never dealt with my problems or something. I tried to explain to her that I am able to admit my upbringing wasn't fucking roses and not be completely fucked up as a person.
Basically I felt this job was the equivalent to a psychic vampire because it sucks energy out of me and I had nothing to replace it, it didn't make me feel satisfied as a person and it didn't even make me enough money for it to be worth it. Also it took away from the other creative endeavors I want to explore because it took all my time up. This job gave me a false sense of closeness with my coworkers who most of them would never talk to you outside of work, except maybe two and I hope I run into them cause they are genuine people. The one I want to see is the one who asked me how I was when she saw me and said she hoped I felt better. She wasn't acting that it was real.
I"m also reading through your blogs, looking for tidbits of memories of myself as well as just reading them.
I'm on the bedtime story, I think I need to make my own movie; seeing as I don't care about making money, even with the job I had. It made me see how far people would do for money and it was just sad and I could never be like that. I wonder if I'm a prude or something but I realize no, I just have self-respect ten-fold.
I think I'm going to start a scrapbooking business.
Abbreviations 8/24/2006
Email to Dave
well I can't risk everything I've been building had you asked when I didn't have a job and barely a place to stay I would have said yes right away.
Plus the week you want to leave just happens to be the most important time for my uncle he is opening a new store and my dad has made it an all or nothing thing. He says if I leave most likely I wont have a job when I get back. I like having money to be able to do things with.
I want to be able to do all the things I want.
My aunt wants to meet you cause I told her before that you were coming here, she doesn't want me to leave.
After I pay for my classes etc
So maybe you should just drive over here. That way you can go through the country etc and figure out some things. By the time you get here I will have things in order.
I know all I need is to be social and I would probably be fine.
I don't know exactly what you want but I have things to do I can't just leave things, normally I would but I have to be responsible. I came here for a change and I have to follow through with it. Compromising myself isn't easy believe me.
Tell me what you think
+T
well I can't risk everything I've been building had you asked when I didn't have a job and barely a place to stay I would have said yes right away.
Plus the week you want to leave just happens to be the most important time for my uncle he is opening a new store and my dad has made it an all or nothing thing. He says if I leave most likely I wont have a job when I get back. I like having money to be able to do things with.
I want to be able to do all the things I want.
My aunt wants to meet you cause I told her before that you were coming here, she doesn't want me to leave.
After I pay for my classes etc
So maybe you should just drive over here. That way you can go through the country etc and figure out some things. By the time you get here I will have things in order.
I know all I need is to be social and I would probably be fine.
I don't know exactly what you want but I have things to do I can't just leave things, normally I would but I have to be responsible. I came here for a change and I have to follow through with it. Compromising myself isn't easy believe me.
Tell me what you think
+T
Anne, Neely and Jennifer 11/13/2006
8:58 PM - Anne, Neely and Jennifer
This works better than I thought it ever could. Today I bleed which of course makes both of us happy. I'm still in denial if I feel something, but doing this is just really easy and it doesn't bother me, that's why I stay. Fuck isn't that why I always stay. There is never any reason, other than. Well it's just hard to find these things and well I keep wanting to find something else, but why just because I can't feel trapped. I can't any sense of security, but they know it also. I'm not hard to read in any way, despite I'm not overly emotional, anyone with half a brain can tell what goes on, maybe that something is even going on.
So many choices, why should I choose, I can do any number of things. I'm barely ever stressed; I'm just in this really good place. I wish I could really describe it but I've been blank lately and overly affectionate.
Blanket
To see a blanket in your dream, symbolizes warmth, love, security and protection. You may be seeking for some form of shelter from the outside world. Consider also how your dream may be calling attention to a "cover-up" in some situation or circumstance in your waking life.
So we found these lights, and golden pieces of fabric from the Queen Street trash which never fails to have really cool trash. Someone made an electric chair from it.
I hand washed all my pantyhose and a few baby doll shirts.
He and I did 2 months worth of laundry because it really needed to be done.
We have been going out and staying out later which is great because we were both going insane from staying inside all the time.
Last night he stole this Ruby Gloom Poster for me, you can only get it here in Canada , because she now has her own show on YTV in Canada.
http://www.ytv.com/programming/shows/rubygloom/
It makes me happy!
We went to the Queens head and had some cheap shots; I can't drink so much due to my meds they have a bad reaction so I only had a shot of Jagermeister and 2 Ice Teas. Last night we went to the Blue Moon to drink and we both had a shot of Tequila with a lemon and salt. I just remembered how I had that Margarita Mix with Tequila and it was pretty good. The street booze I had found during September 1 st during moving out/moving in day in Boston.
So my birthday is coming up and I told him what I wanted and what I want is actually cheaper than what he wanted to get me, he wanted to get me acupuncture session because I always have fucking back problems, because this bed we sleep in is so shitty and it makes a lot of noise. But seriously the coils stick in our sides and I can't even sleep on this side, so I sleep better on the other side, but either way this bed sucks.
Two books I just got The Frugal Traveler and Valley of the Dolls. The latter I'm half way through its really good.
We went to the Regent Park Film Festival; last night. It was free, it was held at a Public Middle School. I really love short films and of course independent stuff.
Love, Sex, and Ohhh….! Canada Run Time 89 Minutes
Co-presented by the Inside Out Lesbian and Gay Film and Video Festival.
Films I liked:
INNOCENT: Cliff Kafai Mok/2004/Canada/6 minutes
This powerful animation film shows how love turns to hate under the influence of religious guilt.
It's animated and cute and funny and then it's really deep and disturbing.
FUTURE NATION: Kent Monkman/Canada/2006/10 Minutes
When a gay native teenager is outed to his older sister and homophobic brother back on the reservation- it's the end of the world-Literally.
It just has a cool plot, there are some things that don't make sense but the entire thing is really cute.
CAN YOU LOVE ME ?: Adam Garnet Jones and Sarah Kolasky/Canada/2005/10 Minutes. How far can the pursuit of love take you? This painfully intimate documentary about a Toronto artist's disturbing project is also an animation, an experiment with formal techniques and an examination of one woman's art and sexual politics.
I really liked this one because it was so honest, and it wasn't that disturbing it was really funny. An art student puts her picture on a flyer that reads; can you love me? With her phone number. So this guy Jordan
For my birthday he will buy me absinthe and we are probably going to the Mr. Leatherman Toronto, and take this S/M Seminar on Electric Play.
I was working on being a dominatrix and a foot model but we are leaving too soon for me to get much work. I will still do it and I think I may have a photo shoot coming up soon.
I'm making a scrapbook of our things from here. And I'm making a new outfit.
I just finished reading, Valley of the Dolls, so good.
This works better than I thought it ever could. Today I bleed which of course makes both of us happy. I'm still in denial if I feel something, but doing this is just really easy and it doesn't bother me, that's why I stay. Fuck isn't that why I always stay. There is never any reason, other than. Well it's just hard to find these things and well I keep wanting to find something else, but why just because I can't feel trapped. I can't any sense of security, but they know it also. I'm not hard to read in any way, despite I'm not overly emotional, anyone with half a brain can tell what goes on, maybe that something is even going on.
So many choices, why should I choose, I can do any number of things. I'm barely ever stressed; I'm just in this really good place. I wish I could really describe it but I've been blank lately and overly affectionate.
Blanket
To see a blanket in your dream, symbolizes warmth, love, security and protection. You may be seeking for some form of shelter from the outside world. Consider also how your dream may be calling attention to a "cover-up" in some situation or circumstance in your waking life.
So we found these lights, and golden pieces of fabric from the Queen Street trash which never fails to have really cool trash. Someone made an electric chair from it.
I hand washed all my pantyhose and a few baby doll shirts.
He and I did 2 months worth of laundry because it really needed to be done.
We have been going out and staying out later which is great because we were both going insane from staying inside all the time.
Last night he stole this Ruby Gloom Poster for me, you can only get it here in Canada , because she now has her own show on YTV in Canada.
http://www.ytv.com/programming/shows/rubygloom/
It makes me happy!
We went to the Queens head and had some cheap shots; I can't drink so much due to my meds they have a bad reaction so I only had a shot of Jagermeister and 2 Ice Teas. Last night we went to the Blue Moon to drink and we both had a shot of Tequila with a lemon and salt. I just remembered how I had that Margarita Mix with Tequila and it was pretty good. The street booze I had found during September 1 st during moving out/moving in day in Boston.
So my birthday is coming up and I told him what I wanted and what I want is actually cheaper than what he wanted to get me, he wanted to get me acupuncture session because I always have fucking back problems, because this bed we sleep in is so shitty and it makes a lot of noise. But seriously the coils stick in our sides and I can't even sleep on this side, so I sleep better on the other side, but either way this bed sucks.
Two books I just got The Frugal Traveler and Valley of the Dolls. The latter I'm half way through its really good.
We went to the Regent Park Film Festival; last night. It was free, it was held at a Public Middle School. I really love short films and of course independent stuff.
Love, Sex, and Ohhh….! Canada Run Time 89 Minutes
Co-presented by the Inside Out Lesbian and Gay Film and Video Festival.
Films I liked:
INNOCENT: Cliff Kafai Mok/2004/Canada/6 minutes
This powerful animation film shows how love turns to hate under the influence of religious guilt.
It's animated and cute and funny and then it's really deep and disturbing.
FUTURE NATION: Kent Monkman/Canada/2006/10 Minutes
When a gay native teenager is outed to his older sister and homophobic brother back on the reservation- it's the end of the world-Literally.
It just has a cool plot, there are some things that don't make sense but the entire thing is really cute.
CAN YOU LOVE ME ?: Adam Garnet Jones and Sarah Kolasky/Canada/2005/10 Minutes. How far can the pursuit of love take you? This painfully intimate documentary about a Toronto artist's disturbing project is also an animation, an experiment with formal techniques and an examination of one woman's art and sexual politics.
I really liked this one because it was so honest, and it wasn't that disturbing it was really funny. An art student puts her picture on a flyer that reads; can you love me? With her phone number. So this guy Jordan
For my birthday he will buy me absinthe and we are probably going to the Mr. Leatherman Toronto, and take this S/M Seminar on Electric Play.
I was working on being a dominatrix and a foot model but we are leaving too soon for me to get much work. I will still do it and I think I may have a photo shoot coming up soon.
I'm making a scrapbook of our things from here. And I'm making a new outfit.
I just finished reading, Valley of the Dolls, so good.
July 23, 2006
I just want to go back to the way it was, having my
place, hanging out etc; not this work boring bullshit. Also my aunt
wants me to stop staying at her place which is fine cause I never
wanted to be there in the first place. I actually like my job, but I
want to go to school really badly. I don't have a lot of alone time, I
barely call people, I barely have anything to say.
Honestly this is how it is: I have a lot of pent up emotions about so
many things, demons are coming out of nowhere and presenting
themselves for me to deal with. I don't know how to feel about
anything, it just gives me a headache. But I can't ignore it because
its making me anxious. The lamest thing is I bet if I did something
simple it would be solved. I guess I have to deal with things as they
happen. I foresee problems, I do take things as they come to me. No
matter what I want from a situation I still see things as they are. I
do my very best to not let my emotions cloud my judgment. There are so
many things that I'm capable of doing and its scary to think of them.
Venting... no response is really needed
I miss a lot of things, especially affection.
Since I've been here I've felt things I havent felt in so long, like
loss... so much loss, rejection, this neverending void; this is what
happens when I get like this. This reminds me of this (state of mind)
I was in once. It happened when I was celibate. It's all around
painful to do that again. I just feel so dead, like my body is dead
and someone deep inside of me is this voice that has just a little
vigor left. Actually this is what
the meds do to me except I dont have to deal with all these stressful
thoughts. All of this could be a direct result of the intaking and the
indulgence.
end rant
I just wonder why I can't ever settle down, commit or anything of the sort.
place, hanging out etc; not this work boring bullshit. Also my aunt
wants me to stop staying at her place which is fine cause I never
wanted to be there in the first place. I actually like my job, but I
want to go to school really badly. I don't have a lot of alone time, I
barely call people, I barely have anything to say.
Honestly this is how it is: I have a lot of pent up emotions about so
many things, demons are coming out of nowhere and presenting
themselves for me to deal with. I don't know how to feel about
anything, it just gives me a headache. But I can't ignore it because
its making me anxious. The lamest thing is I bet if I did something
simple it would be solved. I guess I have to deal with things as they
happen. I foresee problems, I do take things as they come to me. No
matter what I want from a situation I still see things as they are. I
do my very best to not let my emotions cloud my judgment. There are so
many things that I'm capable of doing and its scary to think of them.
Venting... no response is really needed
I miss a lot of things, especially affection.
Since I've been here I've felt things I havent felt in so long, like
loss... so much loss, rejection, this neverending void; this is what
happens when I get like this. This reminds me of this (state of mind)
I was in once. It happened when I was celibate. It's all around
painful to do that again. I just feel so dead, like my body is dead
and someone deep inside of me is this voice that has just a little
vigor left. Actually this is what
the meds do to me except I dont have to deal with all these stressful
thoughts. All of this could be a direct result of the intaking and the
indulgence.
end rant
I just wonder why I can't ever settle down, commit or anything of the sort.
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